Just call me 'Sticky Fingers' when the mercury drops
By Bill Kirby | Columnist
Friday, January 15, 2010

No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn.

-- Hal Borland

The worst thing about the past two weeks of cold, dry weather is the static electricity.

I am tired of shocking myself every time I get out of the car or touch metal inside the house.

The second worst thing is the cracks in the skin around my fingers.

Fortunately, I have a regular solution -- super glue.

As I was telling Pastor Bill Marlette at the Tuesday lunch of the Curtis Baptist 39ers, it works like a charm, provided you let it harden and don't end up gluing yourself to something.

Pastor Marlette said he has found comfort with Chap-Stick. He says he smears some on those dry, winter finger cracks, and they begin to heal.

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BOOK MARKS: My Sunday column about the challenges of book reading these days did not escape notice of the LSU Press, which sent me this link to their latest offerings. It's www.lsu.edu/lsupress if you want to check it out.

Also, I felt so guilty Sunday after admitting my lack of literary diligence, I went to two different book stores looking for something to read. I came home 90 minutes later with a new calendar.

My wife gave me that "What Were You Thinking?" look, but I told her.

"It was half price."

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LIGHTS OFF: It looks like the city's finally taking down the Christmas decorations downtown, and I sort of miss them.

It was the only thing green.

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BLOW OUT THE CANDLES: Ellen Smith turns 92 today, which is why I led the singing of Happy Birthday for her at a Fairview Presbyterian luncheon Thursday.

Ellen is still famous for her 85th birthday when she went skydiving.

I asked her if she was going to do any of that today, and she said no, she was holding out for flying the space shuttle when she turns 100.

(Eight more years, Ellen. )

And speaking of birthdays, one of our town's old friends James Wilson will be celebrating next week. Why not join me in sending him a card in care of the Georgia War Veterans Home, Fourth Floor, 1101 15th St., Augusta, GA 30901.

I am told the fields he used to farm are now the site for Doctors Hospital.

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TODAY'S JOKE: Here's one shared by Everett Fernandez .

There was a knock at the door. It was a small boy, about 6 years old. Something of his had found its way into my garage, he said, and he wanted it back.

Upon opening the garage door, I noticed two additions: a baseball and a broken window sporting a baseball-sized hole.

"How do you suppose this ball got in here?" I asked the boy.

Taking one look at the ball, one look at the window, and one look at me, the boy exclaimed, "Wow! I must have thrown it right through that hole!"

Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 823-3344 or bill.kirby@augustachronicle.com.

From the Friday, January 15, 2010 edition of the Augusta Chronicle
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